Fear, loneliness and sadness

In today's post at Ann's, she is writing some truth to their boy, who is ready to leave home. There are some powerful words  worth reading. But one thing she says struck me in light of our world today.  It is so needed:

"It’s true, son: Be different and know everything you do matters. It’s what the Christ followers know: One man with God can change a culture. God didn’t put people in your path mostly for your convenience; He put you there for theirs.Loving the poor will make you rich, I promise.

Only when you offer yourself as bread, broken and given, to a hungry world, will you ever be satisfied.

The only life worth living is the one lost.

No matter how loud and crazy and broken the world is, child? Let joy live loud in your soul."

Our self-absorbed society wrecks havoc with our faith...it teaches living the opposite of the selfless life Christ commanded us to live, the kind of life Ann is talking about.

But from the time our children are little, we coddle, pamper, protect, spoil (as much as our budgets or government help will allow). As they grow older we spend our energy making sure they have everything they need, everything they want, everything that will make them look good, be the most popular, make them loved by everyone around, everything that will make them happy.  We pat them on the back when they do well and even when they don't. We even confront teachers, coaches, family and acquaintances who dare to say our child is not as great as we want the child to think he or she is. And what do we get?  We get ugly.

When I was teaching, I had a young teen come to high school after being home schooled.  Talk about confrontations...I was too hard when I graded, expected too much, I didn't appreciate the sarcasm or the "laid back" attitude apparent every day of high school.  As I tried to challenge this apparently bright child, I met road blocks at every turn. Then graduation came and as the parents told me, "They knew great things would be accomplished by this extremely gifted young person."

I smiled and said I hoped they were right.

A year later, Mom sat in my room crying. "The first job had been lost, "____ wouldn't get up early enough for work."  "Attitude towards co-workers was rotten." "He wants to move home, with no rules." "I had no idea he was like this."

She followed with what to do?

I breathed deeply, "Pray." Simply pray.

The problem is that for those growing up with well-meaning parents who thought the best thing they could do was make life easy, there will be some hard lessons to learn later about life.  As parents we do the best we can and then we pray and pray and pray.  The proper order would be to pray, and pray and pray first.

Life throws all of us unexpected curves. and those circumstances of our life can cause us to experience pain, fear, extreme sadness, boredom, loneliness, and more fear and pain.

After all these years of living and feeling all of these emotions, I realize these hard times are not bad  but actually good experiences, because if life didn't get hard, we wouldn't need God. We wouldn't come to the end of our own self-reliance in how great we are.  We would never realize just how good God is.

I smile at what David says in Psalm 13:1-6.  Believe me he is having a pity party, really being honest about what he feels but then once again, he remembers the right answer.

"How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?  How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?  Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation..."

"I have trusted in your steadfast love...."   Never failing, never changing, never ending love...that is what God is for us.  And yet we look to our circumstances for fulfillment, for the hole in our heart that needs to be filled.  When I look to things, to food, to clothes, to friends, to praise from others, to "stuff" to make me feel good, to get rid of the "feelings," the outcome is never good.  It is only God and his "steadfast love" that fills me with peace, with love, with satisfaction, with contentment.

Now for the practical...how do I do that?  In I John we have the answer...

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."

Calming our fears,
    filling the holes in our hearts,
        overcoming sadness with joy,
              and removing the lonliness with satisfaction
comes from loving others and being thankful for every circumstance in our lives and the emotions that brings because it is at those times, the times of tears, of pain, of fear, of lonliness, of sadness that we are drawn closer to our God, the God of "Steadfast love and faithfulness."

My "Word" for 2013...

 Choosing a word to focus on in 2013 was not so hard.  "His Presence" seemed to lead to this one..

The "word" that I want to focus on in 2013 is something that I have learned a little about this past year.... It really began with that book I have recommended over and over in my posts and in conversations with friends and even strangers. The Spirit opens up opportunities to share things I have learned over and over again as I give thanks for this wonderful grace given to me, to all of us....prayer.

The book is A Praying Life by Paul Miller.

It is funny how when I really began to work at committing chapters and books of Scripture to memory by using  Scripture Typer (click and you can get started), I began seeing threads running through God's revelation to us.  One that has stuck out to me in the Sermon on the Mount,  and in I John is that if we "just ask" he hears us.  There are other truths attached to asking, like loving God and others, asking in His will, abiding in Him, trusting Him.  But the word "ask" is the connecting word, a word that suggests
an intimate relationship,
    a growing relationship,
         a dependent relationship on God.

John 14:13 ESV "Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

John 16:24 ESV "Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."


Matthew 7:7 ESV "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

I John 5:14 "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we aks anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him."

Okay, I think I get it...."Just ask...."

So "ask" is my "word" this year.  My prayer in putting this phrase out there goes something like this:

Father, in your Word you tell us that if we ask for anything in your name, you will give it to us.  Jesus also said that "You have not, because you ask not."  Oh, Father, help me to remember to ask before I go into "fix it" mode.  Before I start planning and manipulating on how things need to get done.  Help me to hear the Spirit speaking truth to me, "Ask, and you will recieve."   Just asking seems like a copout but help me to understand that it is the only way to peace, to living the abundant life, to living in dependance on You, knowing that everything I am, everything I have, is because of you and you alone.
Oh, God, help me in the hours, days and months ahead, as long as you give me life,  to remember to "just ask!"
And then, Father, help me to see, to give thanks for and to lift up Your Name when I see your work all around me.
Amen...and Amen.

From my experience God really does hear us and answer when we "ask."  I'm looking forward to a year of standing in awe as I watch God work in response to "just asking."  

What is your "word" for 2013?  It can be the same....wouldn't that be fun?  Let me know and I can "ask" for the strength and courage you will need to follow Him this year in how He is leading you.

Reflections on "His Presence"

2013...a new year...a fresh start....a new beginning.

Well not exactly....I've been doing this for a while...65 times. Funny how a "New Year" draws us to the possibilities...to the wonder of what could happen this year.

My past is certainly a big part of me....it is a lot of who I am.  The work that God has done for me, the work that he has done in me, the work that he has given me to do by his grace and power, the power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is who I am right now.

That is where today begins....praise God, this life is not about me but about my Creator God, my Redeemer, my Savior, my all in all.

Last year I chose a word for the year. Well, mine was actually a phrase, "His Presence" (click and you can read it also).  I saw progress...God enabled me to see him at work each day as his ever abundant grace came in gifts of beauty, quietness, fires, friends, opportunities to encourage or be encouraged, of just knowing that he is here with me every single day.

This picture was actually of the solar eclipse in the Spring.  Can't see the eclipse but I love the light behind the flowers.

Will I ever tire of this beautiful mountain and the glimpse of God's glory when I see it?

I love butterflies.....so many colors, sizes, markings....amazing Creator we have.

Even the desert blooms with His glory....

An amazing view of the peak covered in snow in May.

In flowers God's desire to give us color, form and absolute breathtaking beauty is seen.  Thank you!

And for friends.....such wonderful friends!!!

And so 2012 has come to an end but another year begins with another "word."  The Lord willing I will have a "word" for 2013 in a few days....as I continue to practice "His Presence" with His help.

Trials...God's perfect plan...

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”  ~ C. S. Lewis (Novelist, Lay Theologian and Christian Apologist)

During this past year, we have been reminded over and over that we do live in a broken world.  We have been reminded in big ways that bad things do happen to good people.  We have also seen with out own eyes or experienced  ourselves the goodness of other people who reach out in huge ways at those times.

We have cried watching the news, reading the newspaper, talking to friends.  And yet we still don't see even a small part of the hard things others are going through.  If we did, we would really be on overload, because a lot of us just want to fix the bad things for others. We ask God for the means to help others... to help others out of bad situations. We also ask for time and wisdom to know how to help....and then we go and listen and do what we can with what God blesses us with.

There are those who say that God doesn't exist because if there was an all-powerful God, then he would be powerful enough to keep bad things from happening. They assume that A good God wouldn't want us to struggle, to hurt, to even die; after all, we certainly don't want to struggle, hurt or die but more than that we don't want to watch others struggle, hurt or die.  

But we need to get a grasp on the truth we learn in the Bible. You see, part of God's plan for us is that we do hurt, we do struggle and we will die... we also get to watch others hurt, struggle and die.

In his Word, he tells us over and over that we will go through bad times especially as we read the stories in Scripture.   We see how he actually takes his people through some really bad times so they learn things, mainly they learn to trust him, to depend on him, to ask him for help, for strength, for endurance.

I always think of Joseph.  In all fairness, Joseph had it really rough.  First he is thrown in a pit by his brothers who want their father's favorite son dead.  Then one brother says they can't do that so they decide they will just sell him into slavery and tell their father that he was killed by a wild animal. Later, working as a servant, he is falsely accused of molestation and then thrown into prison, with little hope of ever getting out.  Through each trial, Joseph shows that he trusts God.  I'm sure there were a few "Are you sure this is the plan, Father?" and even a few "why's."  But in the end when Joseph could have had a pay back to those onnery brothers, he instead chooses forgiveness and reconciliation.  When his brothers told him they were sorry, his basic response was, "Forget it because it wasn't your fault.  God planned the whole thing so I could in a position to not only save Egypt but save our family, God's family.  It is okay."

Every time I think about his response, I think about responses I've had at times, not good.  Those responses come when I'm feeling sorry for myself.  When I am looking at the "negative" things in my life and all I have to do for Larry, all that I have missed out on. And then I wonder if this is a mistake. And that is not fun....actually it is pretty horrible as I sink lower and lower in my self absorption.  And the world would tell me it is okay to feel like that. The world would actually tell me that a good God would never have allowed the trials of our life.

But God has shown me that a good God actually plans the "hard" times, the "rough" times, the "impossible" trials so that I can grow in Him as I trust Him.  I can actually sleep well and not get hateful because the truth is "My God knew exactly what He was doing and He brought the accident into our lives because He knew what we needed to learn and how we would learn it.  He knew exactly what He wanted to teach us and others as they watched.

When we go through the hard things, it is encouraging when we find out later...sometimes much later, how our story, the trials God has taken us through have helped someone else.  

Several years ago I met a young woman while I was at my sisters. I had prayed for this woman for several years because of all the trials they had had in their life.  But on this day she came to Roxana's to bring some food because my sister had horribly smashed a finger in a car door and was having surgery on it.  I knew this was the gal Roxana had told me about and we talked for a little while and then she turned to leave.  Just as she got to the bottom of the stairs she turned and said, "I know you!  You were in a car accident years ago and your husband was mentally disabled from the accident.  You had two toddlers then and you were pregnant with your third child!"  

I must have looked confused and then said, "How do you know all of this?"

She continued, "When I was in high school, I sometimes sang at Christians Women's Clubs.  You spoke at one here in Colorado Springs and I sang that day at the meeting.  I have thought about your story every day of my life."

I said, "You haven't had a very easy life either.  Roxana has asked me to pray often for you and your husband."

Crying, she said, "My thought every day was, if that woman could take care of her children and her husband, I can do whatever God asks me do." 

What an encouragement that was to know that God used what he was doing in my life to help a young wife and mother deal with the problems in hers. One of the reasons God orchestrates the trials in our lives is so we can encourage others with the hope we have been given. 
  

God with us... a real thing

Another Christmas...
another Christmas to try to understand just what God coming down to us in flesh means in reality.  Trying to just grasp that God, creator, magnificent, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God came down to earth for me, for you.  And what does it mean that he did that?  What does it look like?

This morning, just this morning at 8 o'clock, I think I saw God....here...touching earth...
Problem is I don't look often enough for Him, because if I did, if we did, we would see Him EVERYWHERE.

A woman that I do not know except that she takes the same nutrition we do and cares about people, got me on the phone with a farmer's wife and mother of 6, ages 1-15. That conversation brought back lots of memories that I don't think about... much...a time when my kids were younger, a lot younger.  A time when Larry was in a coma. A time when I hurt a lot and saw God everywhere.

 I could hear the fear, the exhaustion, the dogged endurance this young wife and mother is going through.  Her husband is in a coma, six months in a coma, hurt from a farm accident.  He's home, but he doesn't speak, he just watches and and she thinks he listens.

 She waits and that is hard, but she prays...
      She longs for him to speak one word, and she prays...
           She tries to help the children understand, but they don't..
What she didn't say is:
      She wants his arms around her, but she feels God's arms around her...
             She who once depended on him, her earthly man, now depends on HIM, her heavenly Father....for everything.
And she waits....and waits....and waits as she prays and prays and prays.

And I saw God here, on earth, in her....because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that without HIM,
    she couldn't do what she has been doing for months,
       she wouldn't have hope that this will all be okay.
And she could not have said, "I know this is God's plan. He has a plan and this is okay."

Lee Ann, thank you for letting me see how that baby in the manger affects our everyday lives.

Because He came down as flesh and dwells in us, we are enabled to live lives that bring honor and glory to Him because of what He does in us..

Because LOVE came down, we can know that there is more....a lot more after our time here is done.
And His peace has come to us.

We can wait because of the Christ child.
    We can wait because we trust Him.
        We can love because He first loved us and gave Himself for us.

 He didn't take the easy route, He didn't stay in heaven where life was easy and He had it made.  No, He came as a crying infant who was needy, who was humbled because of that neediness. He came in spite of how much being here would hurt.  He came because He loved you, He loved me.

And so we praise and thank You, Lord.  We thank You for Your work in us...whether we are "strong" or "weak," whether we are on top of the circumstances or on the bottom, whether we are "good" or "bad." Because it is always and forever Your at work in us.  It doesn't matter what we do or don't do, You still love us....You are still working out Your perfect plan to bring glory to your Name.

And so God, I thank you for Your work in LeeAnn.  I thank you for how you are using her.  I ask that she and her six children will learn to depend on you more and more and each day passes,,,me too. Amen

Learning to say "Thank You" for the hard things

Thirty-four years ago life was difficult.  Not quite two years after the accident, I was in effect a single mom caring for a baby just 18 months old plus a kindergartner and first grader..., and Larry wasn't making much progress. There was little sleep, a lot of work, and streams of tears running down my cheeks soaking my pillow most nights. [our story in brief is here.]

But a couple days before Thanksgiving, the Spirit began reminding me that we are to be "thankful in all circumstances, for this is the will of God for you," until I finally sat down at my typewriter and began typing some words of thanks, and once they started coming, I began realizing a little of what God was doing for me.

Reading it now, after all these years, I can read the pain between the lines....pain that left me breathless at times but there is also hope....."and hope never fails."

But in order to get to the point of being thankful for hard things, I had to reach the end of me and my pride, my independence, my abilities, my dreams. I had to understand that my life really was about God and His glory, His honor, His praise.  

And isn't it good that He is always the one teaching us to be thankful even when we don't want to be.

So because of His grace, His steadfast love and faithfulness, I could say and can say....

Thank you Lord for teaching me to say "Thank you,"
Thank you for being patient with me while I learned.
Thank you for the friends that were there
    and they weren't just a few,
Who stood by me and loved and cared while I yearned
    for the things I thought I had lost.
Thank you Lord for teaching me that I had not lost
    but had gained so many things that only you can give.
Thank you for peace.....
The amazing peace in my heart when my world has gone mad.
It comes from knowing you care and that this journey will end
   in the glory of your love and light.
Thank you for letting me meet others who have greatly suffered too.
They have taught me much about becoming more like you.
Thank you for trials, both big and small
And the knowledge that in my life patience they are "working."
Thank you for your love;
A love that has held me close when no one could fill that loneliness so deep.
Thank you for loving me when I doubted your very existence—
Your never ending presence that You would always keep.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the wideness of your mercy
   when it all seemed so very unfair.
Thank you Lord for the songs you have written through those
   who have suffered so deeply in years gone by.
Thank you Lord for teaching me to listen to the words
   and not to question why.
Thank you for the truths in your precious word
Those that help me see more clearly
That this life I have dear Lord
    is yours and yours alone
To do with as you will
    and all I have to do is yield myself completely
And my needs you will fulfill.
Thank you Lord for teaching me to say "Thank you."

Happy Thanksgiving.....and my prayer for myself and you is that in the coming year each and every day will be filled as we offer our praise and thanksgiving to our God for all He is doing around us, for all he blesses us with, and yes, even for the hard, hard things that He uses in our lives to grow us and make us more like His Son, Jesus Christ.

[please note the dead flower in the picture above.  We tend not to notice because of the beautiful flower just above it, but we need to know that every picture isn't perfect or pretty, but the reality is there are hard things, dreams that die, but there are always new ones to come, new life that happens and because of the hard times, we get stronger and more thankful because we know fruit is being produced. There are a lot of life realities that this picture shows.  I would love to hear what some of you might see in this picture.]

Anticipation of Iris once again in the Spring

With the warm weather hanging on this fall, I have been working out in my yard most every day for a few hours. Cleaning off the dead, dividing some crowded plants, enjoying the birds at the feeders, soaking in the warmth--actually trying to hoard warmth for the colder days coming.

In digging up several overgrown crowded Iris clumps and splitting them, I have been able to plant several dozen Iris in different places, even some new colors given to me.

I love Iris.
 They grow in almost any kind of soil.
   They like it dry.
        They require very little work--a little food, a little water....
             They bloom in the spring when beauty and color are much appreciated.
                  And they bloom big!! Really BIG.
 Which means they make for great pictures.

But a couple days ago when I was outside digging and watering and planting, I got to thinking about these little Iris tubers, about dead, that will bring so much joy, Lord willing, in about five or six months.  Some will be absolutely jaw-dropping and send me to my knees in praise and wonder at what God has done.

But aren't His surprises, His blessings, His graces that are lavishly bestowed on His children more than we could ever imagine.  And they come at the most unexpected times in our lives.

Times when there has been loss,
   Times when we have been hurt,
       Times when we are without answers.
But
   Times when He wants us to know that we are loved.
       Times when He wants us to know that He knows all about what is going on,
            Times when we are fearful of the unknown.
Because
   He never changes.
        He is always here with us.
              He will always provide for us---more than we ever thought.

A friend just shared a story with me about an answer to prayer...she had been feeling especially frustrated over some health issues that have gone on and on with no resolution.  She had just told the Lord she really needed some encouragement, some affirmation that He knew what was going on.  The phone rang, but she almost didn't answer...all those calls before the election and taught her not to answer. But she felt she should and on the phone was another recorded message but from Charles Stanley.  She said usually his calls ask for  donations but this was different. He said something like, "You need to know that God wants to encourage you today.  He knows what is going on and He wants you to be thankful in it because we are to give thanks in all circumstances...."  She was amazed since she had never had such a direct answer to prayer so quickly.

Isn't God good....

So once again as winter approaches, I know that when I look out on my frozen garden,
 covered in snow and ice,
     colored brown and grey with no hint of color,
          with no sun to warm the earth....
I will know that underneath that cold surface there lies the makings of a beautiful explosion of color and surprise come May and June.  Of color that responds to spring warmth because of winter's fearful cold holding them in bondage for a short time. Why?? So their inner beings could be renewed, so their time clocks could be set, so the bugs would die, so they could regain their strength as they lay quietly waiting for His signal to come forth.

And once again I will get out my camera and my Bible.  My footsteps will be quiet as I walk through the garden enjoying and marveling over the wonder of what God does each and every year.  And I will remember, always remember that hope comes out of pain, life comes out of death, warmth comes out of cold and hope springs forth from fear.

Thank you God, for your wonderful works to us in giving us the renewed sense of God's plan for the ages...to bring glory to Himself and to Himself only and not to man.
Thank You, for the hope of the coming spring,
                        for the encouragement that in your plan for us,
                               for the flowers that will bloom again by your plan and purpose,
                                     each year, each spring, by your grace, in your time. AMEN

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
 II Corinthians 4:16-18

Romans 8:24-25 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

The following poem describes the Iris and its beauty.

Iris, Most Beautiful Flower

Iris, most beautiful flower,
Symbol of life, love, and light;
Found by the brook, and the meadow,
Or lofty, on arable height.
You come in such glorious colors,
In hues the rainbow surpass;
The chart of color portrays you,
In petal, or veins, of your class,
You bloom with the first winter,
With the last, in the Fall, you still show;
You steal the full beauty of Springtime,
With your fragrance and sharp color glow.
Your form and beauty of flower,
An artist's desire of full worth;
So Iris, we love and crown you,
MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWER ON EARTH!!
 by Edith Buckner Edwards