[The following is the lecture I gave at our Women's Bible Study on March 13, 2014.]
I don't know about you, but I know that when
I really dug into this passage, I Timothy 5:1-16, I
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| At the Broadmoor (2013) |
realized that we all play a part, we all have a
responsibility, we all need to be involved in the care of widows,
those left alone, who are in our families and in our church.
Reminds me of the
story of a 105 year old woman who in a nursing home who got news that
her last living child who was 85 had just passed away. When the
nurse came in she told her that now she was ready to die since she no
longer had to worry about any of her children.
I think maybe she
had the order of things a little confused since at her age her children should be taking care of her.
I refuse to call taking care of our widows a
problem because some of the most godly women I have ever known were
widows. They should be considered one of the biggest assets our
churches have.
The first thing I
want to talk about today is just how important widows are to God.
In the Old
testament we read in Deuteronomy 27:19 “Cursed be he who perverteth
the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.”
I found it interesting to note that all three of these are people who
are alone... the traveler in a foreign country, children without
their father and widows.
In the first
chapter of Isaiah God Isaiah tells the people what God expects from
them and in verse 16 we read, “Wash yourselves, make yourselves
clean, remove the evil from before my eyes, cease to do evil, learn
to do good; seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the
fatherless, plead the widow's cause.”
And then through Jeremiah God speaks again about this subject close to his heart in chapter 22:3, “Thus says the LORD:
Do justice and righteousness and deliver from the hand of the
oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the
resident alien, the fatherless and the widow,....”
In Exodus God was
even clearer about mistreatment of those who were alone in this
world:
"You shall
not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the
land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.
If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear
their cry to me, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the
sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children
fatherless.”
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According to
Smith's Bible Dictionary during the Old Testament times the care of a widow went to the oldest son
since he would have inherited the assets of his father so he would have resources to care for his mother. Widows were
also encouraged to remarry. The only guidelines for that was if they
were childless, then the brother of her late husband had some
obligation to marry her to give her children to carry on the linage
of his brother.
In the New
Testament we see over and over the compassion Jesus extended to widows. He not
only knew their plight but he saw them, he didn't turn away. He knew what was happening in their life.
In Mark
12 we see Him in the temple watching as worshipers put their money in
the offering box. He saw those who put in large sums of money and
then a widow came and put in two small copper coins, which added up
to a penny. This was important enough that he called his disciples
over and said, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in
more than all those who are contributing out of their abundance, but
she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to
live on.”
Another time we see
a miracle he did for the widow as he approached the city of Nain, “As
he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was
being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow,
and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the
Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood
still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, “arise.” And the dead
man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”
Jesus cared about this woman and her plight. Widows, be assured, God
knows you and knows your needs.
And of course,
Jesus himself was the oldest son of his mother Mary, also a widow.
On the cross as he was dying we see him committing her care to the
disciple whom He loved, “Behold they mother! And from that hour
that disciple took her into his own home.”
In Acts we see the
early church specifically assigning to seven men the care for the
Hellenistic
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widows. Just a word of explanation: the Hellenists refers
to Greek speaking or “Grecian” Jews. The Hellenists as a body
included not only the proselytes of Greek or foreign parentage, but
also those Jews who, by settling in foreign countries, had adopted
the prevalent form of the current Greek civilization, and with it the
use of the common Greek dialect. So we see that the church not only took care of
their Hebrew widows but also saw to it that these other widows were
also cared for.
But today we
must admit that times today are a bit different than they were
back in Paul and Timothy's day. Then women generally were considered
to have no real use except in the home for the rearing of children
and keeping of the house. There were few jobs available for them and
without a husband, “a woman alone” if she had no family to
provide for her was destitute. So then women who were “indeed”
widows... real widows with no one to take her in and too old to
remarry needed help.
Today, in many cases widows actually end up with more
financial resources than widowers do simply because their husbands
have worked hard and planned well to take care of their wives
in the event that they die first. Also because of savings and
investments, Social Security and pensions many widows do have a sufficient source of income, to varying degrees to be sure, but they do have
some sort of income coming in.
The biggest problem
today is that families tend to be spread across the country and when as widows get older, they find they can't
care for their home, their yards, their finances and sometimes even
just their needs to get groceries and health care without help, but there is no family close enough to help with all of that.
And so today that
is where the church comes in to help.
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I thought it would
be interesting to share with you the role our church has taken
to help those left alone in our church. Tom Baird who is the head of
the deaconate here at Village 7 said that all the widows
in the church are identified as soon as possible. Whether that is
through the death of their husband or through new widows becoming a
part of our church family. Each one is assigned to a deacon or a
deacon's assistant. Their purpose is to insure that the widows whatever needs they have are taken care of. Like I said before that is
generally not financial help but in some cases it is. The deacons also
give help to meet spiritual needs, they help with yard work, home repair
or even transportation for various reasons. He said that they are also getting young people involved in helping too whether with
physical work but especially just spending time with those alone.
The deacon assigned also connects other people who want to help in the
church with those needing help. Many times they also work with family in
other parts of the country to be sure the widow has what she needs
and is in the place that is best for her.
Their ministry has also begun to include women who are single,for various reason but find themselves in need of
help. They don't have a list of these but do appreciate it when
these women contact the church and let them know of their needs. Or
even friends who reach out for their friends and ask for help.
He also pointed out
that as our families get more and more spread out across the country
and even the world there is a growing need for more help. If you were
in church Sunday you saw the wonderful video on the mercy ministry
here at the church. Another School of Mercy is beginning the end of
the month which will give you the resources and training you need to
reach out to others with compassion and mercy. After you take the
class you can decide what it is you would like to do or not. You will
need to register by the 24th and you can do that online at
V7PC.org.
Here in chapter
5 of I Timothy Paul lays out exactly what should happen to the widows in the
church
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Timothy was leading, and he was exact wasn't he? He also lays
out some basic principles about what our response should be in
whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. Principles that applied
then in that culture and still apply today in ours.
He begins with instructions concerning the need for encouragement to everyone in the church. In those first few
verses Paul sums up a pretty simple attitude we should all have in
our relationships with everyone else in the church.
Rebuke comes across as criticism and
judgment and even punishment. Someone said that Rebuke looks back at something done in the past while encouragement looks to future actions on a positive note.
I love how Paul explains saying Timothy should think
of the older men as fathers, the younger men as brothers, the older
women as brothers and the younger women as sisters in all purity. Just as a family
does, the church family needs to build others in the family up, not
tear them down. We need to work on encouraging one another to go forward with proper actions as we live in this broken world.
I saw this little bit about the need for encouragement on Facebook the other day from Ann VasKomp.
“Hey
Soul? Everyone you meet today is fighting this hard battle &
needs courage. Needs help to live "in courage." Needs
someone to encourage with words that give strength for their battle.
"Gently encourage... & reach out for the exhausted, pulling
them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to
individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s
nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each
other, and always do your best to bring it out." 1Thess5:13MSG”
Another
idea or truth Paul teaches is that women definitely should not
be passive in the care of the widows. He is saying caring for the widows is
not just for the men, the leadership in the church to deal with. It
would seem that he is telling Timothy to teach or command the women
in the church some basic things about what their behavior should be as widows and as a woman in the church.
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How
many of you have at some point in your life been a child?
How
many of you have parents?
How many of you have grandparents?
Or even
Aunts and Uncles? Relatives alone or in need of help?
*Not
only in verse 4 does he talk about the children of widows
showing godliness by caring for their parents just as their
parents took care of them when they were children because this is pleasing to God. And of course
we all know the command in Ephesians 6:1-2, [and he doesn't
specify which gender] “Children, obey your parents in the
Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”
(this is the first commandment with a promise), [why] that
it may go well with you and that you may live long on the
earth.”
AS
children, no matter our age we do have an obligation to our
parents but in verse 16 we see that a believing woman also
should care for other relatives who are alone. But what
does that look like in this day and age when so many times
families live so far apart? Sometimes it means a move, a
change for someone.
There
are so many possible scenarios concerning this but as we
have studied Timothy we see an overriding theme
here--godliness. And godliness is the key...godliness leads
to being content in whatever circumstance we find ourselves whether that is something we planned or something that becomes necessary because of the circumstances of our life or in the life of those we are to care for. You see God has extended amazing grace to us by sending His
son to die for us while we were still sinners, to die for dead people who could do nothing
for themselves. And that becomes the focus, not ourselves..
Change
is always hard, and the older we get the harder it gets.
But through God's grace, we can face with joy the changes
that will come. As Paul said in chapter 4 starting with
verse 7..."Rather train yourself for godliness, for
godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for
the present life and also for the life to come...for to
this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set
on the living God, who is the Savior of all people,
especially of those who believe.”
When
our hope is set on the living God, when we have our eyes on
him and not our comfort,
our desire to have things the way
we have always had them, our things, our home, our
whatever, then the changes can happen with contentment
because we don't look to those things for our happiness but
to God.Our eyes are on Him and so we humble ourselves accepting the change. Then and only then will we
realize that change is part of God's plan to teach us to
trust Him more.
Note that when Paul talks
about the real widows he has several criteria which include
a woman who has set her hope on the living God and
continues in supplications and prayers night and day.” She has learned through years of walking with God, of trusting Him that He will provide and so when she finds herself alone, she turns to this God whom she has found faithful so many times.
The
opposite of this woman is the “self-indulgent” woman
who lives in worldly pleasure. I can't help but think this
doesn't just mean fulfilling her sexual desires or wanton
pleasures but could mean the woman who spends her life
gratifying her desires for things, money, clothes and the
list goes on rather than seeking God and doing good works. Notice that Paul talks about “good works” over and
over. Other things he mentions are bringing up children
(and in one of the commentaries I read, they said that can mean helping raise or care for children not her own who need care, she has also shown hospitality, by taking in strangers who are traveling from other lands. She also
washed their feet which was necessary because of their
having walked the dusty roads. Today we just provide a
clean shower and nice soap and towels. They also reached
out to the afflicted, they helped protect and assist those
who were in danger, and those who wer down trodden.
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But
again the point is that these women have not lived a self-indulgent
life.The things they did were for others. Those women whose motives and heart are focused on God
and his work will not be selfish when they become widows and in
need.
When I was in South Dakota in that small church there were a
number of widows in the church. One time I said something to someone
else about one of the widows whose demeanor was so peaceful and
calming. Her face just glowed with an inner beauty that was amazing.
Vangie encouraged everyone she came in contact with and reached out
to everyone in the church. This other person who had been in that
church all of her life said that was exactly the way Vangie had lived
her entire life. She went on to say that it seemed like you could
tell how an older woman had lived her life by just looking at her
face in her later years. I think that is what Paul is saying here.
The trust we have in God during our younger years will become evident
when we face the “hard” days of old age. My Dad always says that
getting old “ain't for sissies.” It is hard to get old, it can
be lonely, it will in all likelihood be painful, there will be many
nights of little slee and lots of frustration at not being able to do what once was easy to do.. And at some point we might have to move out
of our homes, perhaps move in with our children or at least close to
them so they can help us. What will our attitude be? Will the trust
we have in God come across if change is necessary or will our own
selfish desires for things not to change come through?
Another
idea or truth that we need to think about is what he says in verse
16, “If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her
care for them. Let the church not be burdened.”
Wow,
that really does cover most of us, especially if you think that as
part of the church, we are sisters of each other and so all the
widows in the church are our relatives.
What does that look like?
There
is a story in Acts 9 about a woman by the name of Dorcas or Tabitha. We've all heard of Dorcas
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because of her good “works and acts of
charity.” Evidently her good works were helping the widows in the
church. She evidently made them tunics and garments using her own
resources. But here in Acts we read that she became ill and died.
The widows were weeping over the death of this dear sister who had
taken such good care of them. They called for Peter who was in a
nearby town and when he came he sent everyone from the room (perhaps because their crying and lamenting was so loud). Then he knelt down
and prayed: then he turned toward the body and said, “Tabitha,
arise.” She sat up and giving her his hand she stood and he
presented her to the saints and the widows.
Can
you imagine the joy in that house, among those widows that day?
Tabitha
or Dorcas, which means good works, was just a woman in the church.
She did what she could to care for and encourage those left alone
around her. We don't know about Dorcas's husband, we don't don't about
her social situation but she evidently had a means of resources that
she used to help others who were in need. In our church today that
could mean widows, it could also mean single moms, it could mean
widowers, it could mean women who have never married. As women, Paul
says that we are to help each other.
Judy
is a friend of mine whose family lives back in the eastern part of
the country. She has several
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| Rose at Hudson Gardens 2013 |
aunts who are widows and alone. I met
Judy through the stamp clubs I had when I was a Stampin Up
Demonstrator and each time she came she was looking for cards she
could make for those aunts. She had been sending them a card and a hand written
letter each week for years. She also sent cards to
the children in the church and also the widows and those who were
hurting in her church here in the Springs. Judy has a full time job
but she spent hours reaching out to others.
Another
woman who is in her later years, but has a car and drives well can be found
several days a week transporting her friends (sometimes younger that
she) to doctor's appointments or to grocery stores to do their weekly
shopping. She does this expecting nothing in return for the time and
gas used to help her friends.
Several years ago a woman who was recently widowed shared with a friend that the hardest thing for her was evenings and getting ready to go to bed. There was no one to talk to or even just say "good-night" to. The friend decided at that time that she would call the widow every night at nine o'clock to just ask her how her day had been and then say, "Good Night....sleep well." Only took a few minutes each day but what a blessing to this woman all alone.
Many of our widowed relatives have the financial
means to live but the hardest thing they deal with is loneliness. In
this day and age when most of us have phones with free long distance
included, why don't we pick up the phone more often and just call an
aunt or an older cousin or a long lost friend to visit for a few
minutes. To let them know we are thinking about them. Or even
sending a little care package with a bag of tea, a little box of
chocolate or even a bouquet of flowers can mean the world to someone
who lives alone. We need to let each other know that we care and
that they aren't alone.
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| Rose at Hudson Gardens 2013 |
And you know what? Loneliness doesn't just happen to widows. There are times we most of us feel alone even in a crowd. But the more we reach
out to others, the less alone we will feel. My advice for anyone here
who feels lonely at times is to get up and go out and do something
for someone else. Get out of your comfort zone. If you don't know
what you could possibly do, sign up to take the course in the Mercy
School. I promise you it will be seven of the most profitable weeks
you will spend.
One
ministry directed to widows here in the church is Naomi Fellowship.
This is in large part funded by the deaconate who also try to attend
these monthly luncheons where they can be even more involved with the
widows of the church. But the thing I love about Naomi Fellowship is
that many of those who plan and carry out those monthly luncheons are
widows themselves... again involved in doing good works of every
kind. Isn't it wonderful to know that as Paul said in Ephesians, “For
we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which
God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
So
once again we see Paul in essence saying that in the church as we
grow in godliness, as we become more and more aware of our dependence
on God and what he has done for us, our focus will be Christ instead
of ourselves. And then He will be able to direct our work, our work
of good to others in the body of believers. I am often reminded of a
story about General William Booth who founded the Salvation Army.
It
was Christmas Eve, 1910. General William Booth, the founder of The
Salvation Army in
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London, England was near the end of his life. His
health was poor, and he was going to be unable to attend the Army’s
annual convention. Booth had become an invalid, and his eyesight was
failing him. No one knew that he would not live to see another
Christmas.
Somebody
suggested that General Booth send a telegram or a message to be read
at the opening of the convention as an encouragement to the many
soldiers of the Salvation Army that would be in attendance following
Christmas and their many hours of labor ministering to so many others
through the holidays and the cold winter months. Booth agreed to do
so.
Knowing
that funds were limited and desiring not to use any more money than
necessary so that as much money as possible could be used to help the
many people in need, General Booth decided to send a one word
message. He searched his mind and reviewed his years of ministry,
looking for the one word that would summarize his life, the mission
of the Army and encourage the others to continue on.
When
the thousands of delegates met, the moderator announced that Booth
would not be able to be present because of failing health and
eyesight. Gloom and pessimism swept across the floor of the
convention. Then, the moderator announced that Booth had sent a
message to be read with the opening of the first session. He opened
the telegram and read the one word message:
Others!
Signed,
General Booth.
I
pray that God will use each of us to be devoted to good works of
every kind. To reach out not only to our own relatives who are
alone, but to others in our church who are alone. After all Paul tells
us that the world will know we are Christians by our love for each
other. They don't know that kind of love but they are looking for
it. Let's pray for each other that through the grace of God through
His Spirit, that kind of love will be evident to a world that so
badly needs His truth.
